Transformers: Revenge of The What The Hell is Going ON?!
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen Review, written by Geoff Stevens/Fox
So, yeah, that tagline above is pretty much correct. “More Alien Robots, Bigger Explosions, and Much More Megan Fox.” Cuz that’s pretty much what Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is. Or as I like to call it: “Transformers: The Quest Of Random Pointless Stuff Mixed With So Much Explosions You Have No Idea What The F*** is Going ON.”
Ok so first off how many people liked the first film? Even remotely? Anyone?
Mm. Ok, I’ll say this. The first one wasn’t that bad. No, really! It wasn’t. It wasn’t an amazing film–but then again it’s Micheal Bay. You don’t expect great stuff from the Bayster–unless it’s gobs and gobs of explosions filled with fire, lots of slo-mo, and hefty amounts of even more explosions added for lovely effect. Because that’s what he’s good at.
And he delivered on that. But Jesus– my eyes hurt, because it was all just too much.
I will say this first and foremost–I didn’t hate Revenge of the Fallen. But I didn’t neccessarily like it either.
If there’s anything I don’t like about sequels, it’s that they drag back everyone from the first movie to give them some sort of role to some degree. Or because they were the comedic releif in the first film and they have to be brought back because no one else can deleiver like they did. There’s a lot of that here in Revenge of The Fallen.
Who can’t forget the famous “Sam’s Happy Time” line from the first movie spoken by Sam’s Mom? I chuckled at it. It was funny, sue me. Well the writers, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, decided it was time to ramp up Mom’s role a bit more. “Oh, let’s have her eating reefer brownies!” “Dude, fistpump! That’s an AWESOME IDEA!” And in the script it goes.
We even see more of John Tuttorro then I really cared to see. I mean–really. More then I cared to see. There also seems to be for some reason two Robots who talk, for no reason, like they’re street tough gangsters. I think they’re channeling the spirit of Jar-Jar Binks. But that’s not either here or there. Because you want some sort of idea what the story is and if it is worth paying your hard earned cash to see it.
Problem is kids I can’t give you a story. I have a vague idea of a time line of events, sure, but it all seems to be mashed into one incoherent mess of random explosions, Megan Fox screaming more than Sam, Robot Heaven, and good lord– everything in between. To keep it spoiler free as possible, basically Sam finds a shard of the All Spark from the first film, it makes him go crazy like the crazed nut that he is, and he starts seeing symbols that lead to something the Deceptions are looking for. And of course the Deceptions have an intimate knowledge of whatever Sam knows instantly because they’re awesome. Cue in plot holes.
Seriously, this has a lot of plot holes. I won’t go into a lot of detail but a good portion of the movie could have been avoided if the writers had thought about it for a second. Oh well. Whatever.
So is it worth seeing? I don’t know. I won’t condemn it. If you like explosions and lots of action crammed down your mouth non-stop for what feels like hours, and want a summer film that keeps dragging on and on rather pointlessly, sure! By all means, go spend your $7.50 on Revenge of the Fallen. Just please, don’t expect to follow the plot. At all. In fact you might hurt your brain if you attempt to, that’s how bad it is.
Let me know what your thoughts are by leaving a few comments below.
Thank ye.
